I am poem

http://smithenglish9.blogspot.co.nz/2007/02/i-am-poem.html

This is a link to some great I am poems from a Ninth Grader class (I'm guessing in the U.S.).
They mount metaphors with great skill. I would love to see if my class in Year 7 could reach this standard with some prompting. I'll use the blog to start with...


I think I might try my hand it first:

I Am

I am a poser
I wonder if I will find it in me to change.
I hear too much praise and
I see too many smiles from faces willing to shake my hand
 I want to find a way out, but
I am too consumed in being a poser.

I pretend that what you see is what you get with me
I feel that's not going to last forever,
I touch others lives with good will and wise words,
But I worry, that if I don't listen to myself then God couldn't possibly use me to good effect on others
 I cry and lament my inability to open up and be free
I am a poser

I understand that to love you must have faith...
I say that faith is a cruel sacrifice for love
I dream of a day when two marred beings can have an understanding
And I try, I really try to push myself to help the other reach it
I simply hope that this will have a happy ending,
Considering right now... I'm just a poser. 

Writing: My Favourite Place description

LEARNING AREA:
English - Writing
Learning Intention - write an interesting description of a familiar setting.
Success Criteria (co-constructed with Rm03)

Introduction: Don’t give away the setting, leave some suspense. Only give clues.

Makes an ordinary place sounds interesting.

Gives a clear image – appeal to the readers 5 senses.

Use of accurate adjectives and verbs.

Use a thesaurus to find accurate vocabulary to describe what you want to say. 

 Show not tell – for example, I’m lying on a trampoline would not be as effective.

Specific mentioned – the small things are important.

Flows well – paragraphs link together.

 


A great writing activity to do with students in order to teach them descriptive writing techniques is to have them write about their favourite place. Everyone will have a different type of favourite place, some will be in tranquil settings and others love the hustle and bustle of public areas. However, you would find that we enjoy going to our favourite places when we are both filled with joy and under stress.

Begin by taking the time to write about your own favourite place - it does not have to be long (my one is very possibly too long) - and use this as a model in the class in front of your student critics. Immediately discuss what makes it a good descriptive piece, (you may have to pry for responses if they are quiet, I actually split the class in to groups to find what I could smell, feel, hear and see) and/or what could be improved (yes, you are vulnerable to scrutiny). From the discussion, a quick list of success criteria could be written (co-construction taking place).

Once you are happy with the success criteria that you can refer back to later in the learning process, students can go away to write their own pieces. You may choose to start with a generic half sentence to get them going, or nothing at all (you may give this to some of your lower level writers). Stop them periodically over the writing process to self and peer evaluate introduction, paragraphs and 5 senses. I like to have my students highlight sentences that they particularly like and then have their partner highlight another sentence in a different colour and then a comment that says why they like it - linked to the success criteria preferably.

Here is my example text that I used as a model. Even though they were slow to get going, my students did pretty well in creating success criteria.

MY FAVOURITE PLACE (needs a better title)

I wake up. It’s midday, but the black surface pressed hard against and marking my face does it’s best to make me reconsider. I turn myself over on the black canvas. I have to bounce ever so slightly to wrangle my leg from underneath me. Lying on my back now, I squint for a brief moment as shards of unfeeling sunrays dazzle my eyes even through my long dishevelled hair. It’s not easy to wake from complete peace and black to the shrieking white of the sun beaming down from directly above – but this is my favourite place.

As my pupils dilate, now accustomed and growing fond of the light of day, I remember where I am and breathe in the fragrance of summer. I quickly orient myself on the back lawn of my house in Bucklands Beach. Second only to the comical, puffy clouds above, I spot the tin roof of my house where birds are squabbling over some food. To my left, a green fence of bush lines the edge of my grassy ‘soccer field’. My favourite umbrella tree accompanies them and has shed a number of yellow leaves now shrivelled dry brown in the heat. Lastly, I lean right and capture a picturesque scene of bobbing boats on mirror-like water with townships dotted along rolling land staring back from the horizon afar. Mighty Rangitoto also shares the landscape keeping guard of all it’s off shore inhabitants.  

The sun’s heat keeps my movement to a minimum; fresh waves of warmth dizzy me and tighten my skin. Furthermore, my eyes are still heavy after my sleep. All I can do is lie, watch and listen. No more than one metre below me, through the stretched mesh that elevates me from the ground, I hear a cricket chirp loudly and then struggle through thick grass. I imagine this mini beast in its vast world of green spiked grass and am reminded of days rolling in this same grass playing soccer with my brother or other mates. The malicious grass always leaves me sticky, grubby, and uncomfortably itchy yet satisfied with the commitment to endure the full Kiwi summer experience. As I imagine this, I actually pick up a dense aroma of grass but I shake my head and smirk. A few flips on the tramp earlier, fulfilled my exercise exertion capacity for the day and I was no longer up for anymore of that tomfoolery.

The longer I lie there, the more in tune I become with nature. I pretend to fly with the clouds above, following the fastest ones with my eyes and witnessing the transformation of its shape from one animal to another. Suddenly, a stiff breeze soars past, sending goosebumps up my uncovered feet and calves. The wind, the faint tinkling of pots from the kitchen, and the soft whiff of dinner, suggested that I had been lying out here for a long time. Sure enough, I see the blue-sky tint, as the sun starts to dip down close to the tall Skytower on the horizon.

I lift myself up swiftly and make sure of my footing. I take a few joyful jumps, springing to a safe height to say a warm farewell to my favourite place and then make one large leap clearing the steel bar and landing on the hard ground. It sends a shock through my legs and I helplessly collapse to the ground with as much grace as I can manage. I pick myself up one more time and sprint inside. I can’t help but scratch. The grass got to me afterall – I’ve had the full Kiwi summer experience. Bliss.

Book of Questions - Life Education Van

CURRICULUM AREA:
      HEALTH and PHYSICAL EDUCATION
      ENGLISH WRITING

These are some exerts from 'The Kids' Book of Questions' - Gregory Stock Ph.D.

'The questions here do not have answers you can find in books because they are about you. Knowing what you believe in and who youare is important, so look into yourself to find answers to these questions... Don't respond as you think others want you to; respond the way you actually feel.
... With some of these questions you will pretend you have extraordinary powers or are in extraordinary situations. With others, you will remember your past or imagine your future...don't cheat by trying to figure out ways to avoid having to make difficult choices. And please, don't just answer yes or no - or let others get away with that. Try to explore why you and your friends feel the way you do...
... Talking about your thoughts and feelings with your friends will be a big help not only when you come to difficult and confusing questions in this book, but also when you next face some tough choices in your own life... This book gives you an easy and a playful way of raising some issues you've wanted to talk about but haven't known how to bring up...'

1) If you were the ruler of the world and you could have anything you wanted as well as have people do anything you wanted, do you think you would get greedy and mean or would you be a good and fair ruler?

6) One day your father gets a really weird idea and dyes his hair green. Knowing everyone would be looking at him and snickering, would you go to the shopping centre with him if he wanted your company?

33) If you and your friends were collecting money for a charity, and then your friends decided to steal what they were collecting and said they wouldn't be friends with you anymore unless you did it too, what would you do?

59) When was the last time you were so mad at a friend that you screamed? Do you think you get over your anger more quickly when you show how mad you are or when you hide it?

77) What sorts of things are too personal to discuss with your parents? Is there anyone you could discuss those things with?

87) If you could make your parents try any one food, what would it be? Do you think children should be forced to try new foods?

96) Are you afraid to ask questions when you don't understand something? For example, do you sometimes fake a laugh when you don't understand a joke?

105) If you knew you wouldn't get caught, would you cheat on a test by copying someone's answers? What would you think if you saw other people cheating?

119) If you had the choice of either being confined to your room for two days or being spanked, which would you choose? Why?

132) What kinds of teasing do you think you would miss most if everyone decided to never tease you again?

148) If you knew that by cheating you could win an important competition for your school and be a hero, would you? Pretend you were sure you wouldn't get caught.

162) Why do you think the most popular kids in school are so popular? In what ways do you think you are better than they are?

170) Have you ever been humiliated by a teacher? If so, what happened?

184) If you had to pick an age to be for your whole life, knowing that you would just stay that age and never grow older, what age would you pick?

194) Which would be worse: not watching TV for a month or having to come straight home and stay in the house every day for a month?

203) Would you rather be the tallest person in the class or be just average in height?

213) What, if anything, really gets on your nerves?

222) If you were allowed to stop going to school, would you? What is the worst thing about school? the best?

242) What foreign country have you heard the most about? What do you think it would be like to grow up there?

249) If someone is doing something that is wrong, is it usually better to tell an adult or to try to solve the problem on your own? For example, if you saw someone stealing things from other kids, would you tell a teacher? What if a big kid spit on your lunch?

258) If drinking a magic potion would make you never again feel sad - no matter what happened - would you drink it?

256) What is the most important thing you have learned about life in the past few years? How did you learn it?

102) Do you wish your parents would question you less or more about what you do and how feel?

101) Are you more likely to hold back your tears when you feel like crying or to hold back your laughter when you see something funny? Why?

53) What is the biggest difference between what happens on television and what happens in the real world?

16) Who do you dislike the most? What is the best thing about that person?

163) Is there anything so bad that if you found out your mother had done it, you would turn her in to the police?

164) Do you try to act like your friends more than they try to act like you? Why?

165) Do you usually say what you really think or what you believe people want to hear?